


Marshmallows

by MedicBaymax



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Porn, Sex, sex-positive asexual characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedicBaymax/pseuds/MedicBaymax
Summary: It's been 6,000 years and an Apocalypse, and there's still something Aziraphale wants to experience.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 100





	Marshmallows

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen several fics about Aziraphale and Crowley's first time, but in every one of them they seem to go about it like they know exactly what they're doing, and I really think as celestial(ish) beings with no real human attraction/urges for that sort of thing, they probably... wouldn't? At least not the first time. So as an Ace person with no attraction himself, I thought I'd spin it as though two very otherwise Ace celestial beings wanted to figure out what the heck sex is. 
> 
> This is very much porn, though, jsyk.

Crowley squeezed himself into the open space on Aziraphale’s armchair, mug in hand. He’d rigged up a small fire in a bowl- the kind that wouldn’t escape, he’d assured, when Aziraphale had eyed it warily.

But fire, he thought, had taken on a new meaning for them since the apocalypse. It had been a part of their lives for millennia, either as an unseemly torturer’s tool or a means of violent destruction. But the humans with which they shared this world had harnessed it for so many nice and pleasant things- the smell of smoldering hickory, chestnuts, warmth, survival, community. And marshmallows- they’d have to remake their idea of it, he’d decided.

Right now, a small kettle hung over it, it’s contents just beginning to warm. Crowely picked up a packet of tea off the end table and eyed it, his mouth drawing into a smirk.

“What’s funny dear?” Aziraphale asked.

“This is one of mine.” Crowley said, pointing to the little “fair trade” stamp on the packet.

“You invented... fair trade tea?” Aziraphale asked hesitantly.

“Well...” He shrugged, turning his head around a little dramatically. “Not so much the thing itself, no.” He paused, Aziraphale still looked confused. “You know that feeling that you get, though? When you’re at the shop and there are two choices and one is obviously better for humans or the environment or what, but you buy the other because it’s a pound and a half cheaper and it kind of nags at you all day? I invented that.”

“How very... demonic of you, dear.”

“I know, right? Ligur didn’t think so.” 

“Yes, well...” Aziraphale eyed the fire warily again. There was a pause, somewhat awkward. Crowley felt as if he were missing something.

“What’s wrong, Angel?” He said, putting his arm around the angel’s shoulders.

“I suppose this is meant to be embarrassing to ask. I want to give it the proper weight.” Aziraphale asked hesitantly.

Crowley cocked his head. He wasn’t really into the idea of a heavy conversation tonight. There was a packet of marshmallows on the table too and he was looking forward to them once the tea was done. Now that the apocalypse was averted or over or however they were branding it, they had thousands of years to talk about important things. He just wanted to enjoy the evening.

“Is it something....” He started. The last word of that phrase was going to be “important” or maybe “pressing”, but Aziraphale beat him to it.

“Have you ever considered sex?” The angel blurted out.

That had not been where Crowley had seen the conversation going. “Like... the thing the humans do to procreate?” He asked.

“And what they do, I’m told, for other reasons.”

“I’ve considered it, yeah, but I’ve rarely had to intervene...” Crowley explained, wondering if Aziraphale had changed the subject. “...by Heaven’s standards it screws their score up just fine without me most times.”

“No, no... I mean, have you ever considered the two of us... trying it out?”

Oh.

Crowley looked wantonly at the kettle over the fire, and the packet of marshmallows, and then the armchair, and then his eyes finally settled on Aziraphale, who looked at him expectantly. “I suppose I hadn’t.”

“Would you want to?”

“What? Right now?” Crowley asked, quickly scrolling through what he knew about human sex. Which, beyond what the demons considered sin wasn't much.

“Not immediately,” Airaphale answered. Crowley let out a breath. “Maybe after the tea?” Crowley noticed that his mug had suddenly filled with tea and the kettle had been put to the side. “I suppose we should have some time to talk it over first.”

Crowley looked at the marshmallows again, but decided it was a change of plans he could live with for novelty’s sake. He took a sip of the tea and leaned back. “Sure, Angel. What did you have in mind?”

Aziraphale’s face lit up. “Last night I was thinking about maybe it was time to change my outfit, you see. New world we live in and I’d been generally wearing this same jacket for over a hundred years now.”

“I’d noticed the new one. It looks good on you.”

“Thank you.” Aziraphale said. “Usually I just miracle it, but this time, for curiosity’s sake, I thought I had better take a look at this body without it’s clothes.”

“And what did you find?” Crowley asked, a little curious himself.

“It was very nice.” He said. “A little odd feeling with nothing on it, but I see why they didn’t invent clothes for so long.”

“Yeah?” Crowley looked at him expectantly.

“Yes, so, also, it turns out I have genitals.” He paused. “I was wondering if that meant you had them too.”

Crowley looked down. He’d put a lot of thought into his bulge, but more as an external fashion statement than a functional organ. If he was perfectly honest he’d never really thought about what it looked like _under_ the clothes.

“I suppose I must.” Crowley said, setting down his tea. “Do you mind if I...?” He gestured to his fly.

“By all means.” Aziraphale said. “Do you want me to look away, or...?”

“Nah, I’m sure it’s fine.” Crowley unzipped his fly and pulled down his pants just far enough that his penis was visible. “I also have genitals.” He confirmed.

“Good.” Aziraphale smiled, looking oddly relieved.

“So was there anything in particular you wanted to do with them?” Crowley asked. He figured as celestial beings on the opposite sides of the apocalypse they weren’t able to actually produce a child through the act, and even so he had a suspicion that was not Aziraphale’s intent with the invitation. He had to admit he didn’t have a great understanding of sex beyond “fun thing with genitals” but didn’t quite want to let that on if Aziraphale knew more.

“Funny you should ask.” Aziraphale pulled a couple of books out of a stack that had not been at the side of the chair a moment before. “I spent some time reading up on it last night after my discovery. I didn’t know what kind of genitals you had so I picked a few of both.” He said. “This one’s probably more appropriate.”

The book looked a little out of place among the rest of the dusty tomes, with a rainbow design on the front and a shiny paperback cover. Aziraphale flipped to a marked page. “This one looked like a good introductory one.” He pointed to a cartoon picture of two naked men, seated facing each other, hands on each other’s penises.

Crowley cocked his head, reading the description. “So it’s kind of like a massage then?” He asked, realizing whatever he’d thought sex was, he’d definitely been mistaken. Also it didn’t actually look that interesting. Briefly, he wondered if he should break it off now and go back to the marshmallows, but figured while he had the opportunity he might as well try it out. Humans seemed to like it, after all.

“Uh... may I?” It seemed foreign to reach down to Aziraphale’s buttoned fly and open it, revealing an organ that looked... similar to his own. He wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting. “Can I... touch it?” He asked. Aziraphale nodded, smiling. 

Crowley ran his finger down the shaft of Aziraphale’s penis. It was soft and warm and almost bouncy, moving slightly under his hand. He wasn’t sure what he expected. He looked at the book again, making sure he had it right, then put his hand around Aziraphale’s penis, which had changed slightly in texture, becoming firmer and a little longer. The picture in the book made a little more sense.

He looked up at Aziraphale, who had an odd look on his face, happy, a little worried, something else. “You want me to keep going, Angel?” He asked hesitantly. Aziraphale nodded. Crowley moved his hand up and down slowly along the shaft. Aziraphale looked like he was in pain. “What does it feel like?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale took a deep breath. “Hard to describe... Can I show you?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Aziraphale put his own hand around Crowley’s penis. Crowley felt something lurch deep in the pit of his stomach, like sudden fear, but an almost pleasant kind. He wanted more.

“Angel, that’s...” He started. Aziraphale paused. “No, keep going.” He encouraged. Aziraphale began moving his hand. The feeling of pleasant fear continued, getting a little more intense with each stroke. They scooted a little closer to each other on the chair. Crowley looked down to see his penis was as swollen as it felt and as heavy, it seemed, as Aziraphale’s felt to him.

He realized he’d stopped reciprocating in the surprise, and hurried to catch up.

“Ohh.” He heard Aziraphale sigh. He slowed slightly, giving the angel room to pull away if he wanted to, but instead he felt Aziraphale’s hand squeeze him harder, feeling the pit of his stomach explode with joy.

“Agh-” he tried not to make the sound but it left him anyway. In return he squeezed a little harder, moved his hand a little faster, and felt Aziraphale do the same.

And then it was like something went into overdrive. He wanted Aziraphale’s hand to move faster, squeeze harder. He knew it wouldn’t have felt good if he wasn’t in this freaking state, but lord he was.

He looked at Aziraphale, his eyes almost blurring, who still looked like he was in pain, but it must have been in a good way, because the angel was doing exactly what Crowley wanted him to. And Crowley reciprocated. Harder, faster, harder, faster, harder, faster, harder, fasterharderfasterhard-

He felt everything clench suddenly and he felt the exploding feeling move up into his brain. Wild and hot and all at once as he lost his sense of being and the world felt like fireworks against a dark background. He didn’t want it to ever, ever end. Something white and liquid shot out of the tip of his penis, felt something similar on his own hand. “Ghaaaaa.” He intoned, hearing nearly the same sound out of Aziraphale, though his eyes were clamped shut.

A few seconds later they fell into each other, gasping and sweaty. All of the anticipation of a few seconds prior was suddenly and inexplicably gone. It smelled like sweat and human in the room, and he liked it in a sort of odd way. He’d never liked that smell before.

He didn’t love the stickiness of what had flown out of him, and he hoped Aziraphale didn’t take it the wrong way as he conjured a towel and wiped himself off, taking some comfort in the angel doing the same.

And with that done they lounged, recovering. Their tea was still hot as it had been minutes before, but the world felt slightly different, like they’d finally been let in on a secret after thousands of years.

“I can see why humans like that.” Aziraphale finally said. Crowley nodded his agreement, snuggling in closer. He had no desire to do it again, at least not in the moment, and honestly he hoped Aziraphale felt the same. But he held the angel tightly. If there was anyone he would have wanted to share that secret with- whatever, honestly, that was- it was the angel he’d spent the last 6,000 years getting to know.

As the warmth faded slightly and they both went back to their tea, Aziraphale reached over and picked up the packet of marshmallows.


End file.
